


The Problem With Height Differences And Heels

by eternaluniverse



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: (hopefully), Crack, F/M, Height Differences, Humor, Spyvember Prompts (Doctor Who), spyvember 2020, the Master is wearing heels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:00:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27805729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eternaluniverse/pseuds/eternaluniverse
Summary: It all started the day Theta had his first burst of growth.
Relationships: The Doctor/The Master, Thirteenth Doctor/The Master (Dhawan)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 30





	The Problem With Height Differences And Heels

**Author's Note:**

> Finally, a spyvember prompt! 
> 
> It’s more crack than fluff, but I hope you enjoy anyway. 
> 
> I’m sorry for any mistakes, I had no time to edit this because I wanted this story to still be posted in November (yeah, there’s a reason, why you shouldn’t start writing two hours before a month of great prompts ends). 
> 
> But I can proudly present: at least one spyvember prompt! (and it’s still November here) 
> 
> I hope it’s a little bit funny.

It all started the day Theta had his first burst of growth. Ushas used to tease him, that his change in appearance hadn’t been far away from a proper regeneration. Everyone thought it was hilarious how the once so short boy had gained extra height overnight.

Well – everyone but Koschei.

He was pouting for weeks after that incident, but worse of all – it didn’t stop. The two boys reached a point, where Koschei would keep Theta awake until he was falling asleep while standing, in hope to stop his friend’s body to shoot up like that much further.

It didn’t work.

The boys had always been more or less the same height and Koschei’s ego didn’t want to cope with the humiliation of being the little one.

First the boy had been quite certain that his own puberty would cope with it. After that didn’t turn out too well, he started hoping for his next regeneration.

That didn’t work out either.

And after multiple bodies and even a second regeneration circle, the Master – a great scientist - had his bad days where he started to believe his bodies were cursed.

It wasn’t fair.

How was it possible, that little Theta Sigma, who couldn’t even able fly a TARDIS, let alone control a regeneration, always had tall slender bodies.

Until one day she didn’t.

The Master couldn’t believe his luck, when _this_ Doctor he was so excited to meet (only to reveal himself as her great archenemy, _of course_ ) finally met the expectation he had dreamed of so many, many years ago.

He was sitting when he met this regeneration, not even expecting any change – one would give up hope after centuries.

Only that when he stood up, the Master realised with a shock that he could look her in the eyes without looking up at her. That would be a relieve for his neck, not being forced to bend in awkward angles to keep appropriated eye contact. 

The second deduction he made that second was, that the Doctor – the great almighty timeless child – was _smaller_ than him.

For a moment the Master was convinced, he must be dreaming. There was no way – but the Doctor was still babbling, already inviting herself in his house (the fool didn’t even realise that she was walking into a TARDIS).

It was only when she turned her back, that the Master was grinning widely.

Finally!

But actually, that was when the problems started.

For years, even the Master had needed to admit, that he was, indeed, the shorter. It had always been obvious for everyone.

But this Doctor was finally the short one!

Until he realised it all came down to one inch. One inch. Well – _three_ centimetres. That was _something!_ Right?!

Only that the Doctor was wearing boots with a thick sole and his own shoes weren’t able to compensative with it.

He tried all different styles, even finding similar boots to the one she was wearing – but no, he looked like a clown. That wasn’t helping.

Until, one day, it all came to him.

He still had the clothes he wore as Missy stored in his TARDIS, and the Master could bet, that the Doctor had no idea how to walk on heels.

That was the first triumph he felt after the Doctor had allowed a human to murder him and he had been so embarrassed about the whole situation, that the Cyberium fled his body in a hurry.

It had been a pitiful day for him.

But that would change now!

Yaz had begged the Doctor to show her a _real party planet_ for hours on a row now, after Jack had praised it to her while defeating the Daleks.

To be honest, she wouldn’t have expected _Yaz_ to ask her for that, but since Graham and Ryan had stayed on Earth to rebuilt Torchwood with Jack, the Doctor could even understand her.

She too didn’t feel to good about her fam, catching Weevils. (only, that she had the feeling, that Yaz was up to something different.)

“Come one, Doctor, maybe that stops you from being all moody.”

Yes, it was probably this.

Except that she wasn’t _moody_ at all but the thought of Ryan and Graham running around with guns and the Master dead weren’t exactly great thoughts.

So maybe her friend was right. It even sounded weird to call Yaz ‘her fam’ in her head, when only one of them was left. And that made the Doctor angry with herself, she should be grateful her friends were even _alive_ (couldn’t be said for everyone… Kos- the Master.)

Except that Yaz was pulling at her coat, eyes wide with fear.

“Doctor, Doctor! Look!”

Finally, she turned around, following Yaz’ finger. And froze.

“How can he be _alive_? You said –“

But the Doctor was already sprinting towards the doppelganger of her dead best friend. That couldn’t be him!

Only that it she could feel the familiar telepathic press on her mind. Oh, she was a fool. Of course, the Master would be alive. He always was.

A hand took hold of her wrist, pulling her back before she could reach the Master.

“Doctor, _wait!_ ” Yaz said urgently. “He’s dangerous. You shouldn’t go after him on your own…”

But the Doctor wasn’t listening. That close to him (and he still hadn’t seen her) she realised something that hadn’t been obvious before.

“Oh, that bastard, he took a growth potion!”

Yaz chuckled. “No, Doctor, he’s wearing _heels._ ” The Doctor turned to her in confusion.

“What?”

“Heels. You know… shoes to be taller.”

This time it was the Doctor who snorted. “I know heels. He wore heels before in his last body. But this time he’s doing it to annoy me!”

“Annoy you?” It seemed as if Yaz had forgotten about the danger the sight of the Master was meaning, but to be honest, the Doctor was grateful for that.

“Of course!” She nodded eagerly. “You see, I’ve always been taller than him. He’s teasing me!”

“Yeah, Doctor, Jack tried to explain regeneration – I still don’t get it.”

Before she could try to explain her friend, what Captain Jack had tried to explain, she could feel deep brown eyes on her back.

“Excuse me, Yaz.”

And with that the Doctor waled towards a grinning Master. He looked quite proudly, looking down at her. The Doctor felt as worse as the time he had kept her in a cage for a year. (okay, not _that_ bad)

Spiteful she stared upwards.

The Master was only grinning wider, reaching a hand for her. The Doctor took it. (she could feel Yaz’s confused gaze on her neck)

“My dear Doctor, so very nice to finally see you. I feared you wouldn’t come.”

“Yeah, and I see you changed your style.”

“Of course, love.” The Master was grinning again. “You know how much I loved these shoes.”

The Doctor cocked her head, remembering the way his last body had moved in her clothes. Missy had been stunning. (As well as every of the Master’s bodies – that wasn’t fair!)

“You should have taken the dress too. And the corset. I love that corset.” The Doctor spluttered instead of a talking back, only to cover her mouth in shock.

But the Master was grinning even wider. “Maybe, if you ask really nicely.” He gave her a fast kiss on her lips and before she could even open her mouth in surprise he disappeared in the crowd.

He was gone that fast, that the Doctor considered for a moment, if she had dreamed that.

Only that Yaz was staring at her, mouth agape.

“Ah.” Suddenly, the Doctor was lost for words. That was new. She didn’t like that feeling.

“You said he was your _friend_.” The young woman said accusingly. “Not your murderous ex-husband.”

“That’s not true.” The Doctor started spluttering. “We never divorced!”

Yaz made a chocking noise. “Oh, even better. Your murderous _husband._ ”

“Well… I guess…”

Her friend snorted.

“Sorry?” the Doctor tried again, but Yaz was already waving aside. “You’ve got to tell me _a lot!_ ”

The Doctor opened her mouth to start her usual rambling – finally being able to tell someone everything about her time with the Master – when Yaz put a finger on her lips.

“Not now, Doctor. Go after him.”

“But–”

“Don’t worry about me, I’m gonna be alright, now run!”

That’s the Doctor didn’t need to hear twice. She gave her understanding friend one last smile and hurried in the crowd of people, where the Master had disappeared. 

She didn’t need to go far. Fast hands grabbed her hip and pulled her away from all the burning bodies of the aliens.

“Doctor” The Master as purring. “How very nice to meet you again.”

“Shut up, _Master_ and kiss me.”

And that he did. After the Doctor was one tiptoes and with her arms looped around his neck. Obviously.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope I made someone laugh a little bit (maybe?)  
> I normally don’t write much humour, so I’m very curious how it turned out. I would love to hear your thoughts (even if it was the worst thing I ever wrote – let me know!) 
> 
> (Yes, I know, I should post chapter two of In Eternity – tomorrow, promise!) 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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